Gabi Garcia’s Stormy Daniels bashes President No. 45 in Five: The Musical, a parody of the musical hit Six.
A sign in the lobby of Theater 555 says: “Warning: This performance features theatrical haze, flashing lights, and closeted Republicans.” And the set by David Goldstein that greets the audience is a gleefully tacky, Vegas-esque sea of silver tinsel streamers, with a “Make America SLAY Again” banner above. It all primes one for a good time. And then Five: the Parody Musical half-delivers.
Hannah Bonnett’s Ivanka, flanked by Marla (Gabriella Joy Rodriguez) and Melania (Jamie Lyn Beatty), exudes privilege in Five.
Not because it’s a bad idea. The concept is giggle-inducing: a send-up of Six, hewing quite closely to that international hit, replacing the six wives of Henry VIII with three wives, one daughter (Ivanka; who remembers Tiffany?) and one amply compensated mistress of one Donald John Trump. They’ll dis the ex-Prez, dis one another, argue about who had it the worst, and pour out their concerns in the very loud songs and patter of Shimmy Braun and Moshiel Newman Daphna (book and lyrics) and Billy Recce (music and lyrics). The five ladies, and a sixth who makes a “special appearance,” are talented and engaging. The challenge is discerning what they’re saying.
If Five has a villain, it’s Uptown Works, the sound designer. Typical of musical sound engineers of the past two decades, they’ve amped the three-piece band up to 12 and miked the performers way beyond comprehension, literally. Whole stanzas are unintelligible. Jokes that should land fail to, because it’s impossible to make out the punch line.
Anyae Anasia’s Ivana disses Marla Maples. Photographs by Jeremy Daniel.
If you’re lucky enough to have access to the script, you’ll encounter some good, rude insults. There are way more f-bombs and penis jokes than necessary, but some gems are scattered among the vulgarity. Marla Maples (Gabriella Joy Rodriguez), singing to Stormy Daniels (Gabi Garcia) in a parody of Wicked’s “Popular” (for a lot more than Six gets spoofed):
I wanna see you be the star that you are meant to be
Whether it’s in fashion or pornography
I know you’re only used to positivity on a herpes test
But I know best
First step is accept you’re unpopular.
Not deep, but amusing. If only we could make it out. The other main liability is that, let’s face it, Anne Boleyn and Catherine of Aragon are a lot more interesting than Ivana (Anyae Anasia), Ivanka (Hannah Bennett), or Melania (Jamie Lyn Beatty). Generally, each of this quintet has one trait to flog: Ivana is resentful; Marla is pseudo-religious; Melania, given some good Tina Fey energy by Beatty, possesses a strange affinity for potatoes, in a fun little ditty riffing on A Chorus Line’s “At the Ballet”; Stormy is crude but confident; Ivanka is Daddy’s little princess.
Recce does serve up some pleasant tunes in the deafening mix, and director-choreographer Jen Wineman keeps the ladies busy with a variety of hand-waving, leg-shaking, and pelvis-thrusting. Florence D’Lee’s costumes are a savvy mix of Six influence and these five’s individual identities, including Melania’s notorious “I Really Don’t Care Do U?” jacket, and the production’s real hero may be Ian Joseph, whose hair and wig design practically reaches, hilariously, into the flies.
“Recce does serve up some pleasant tunes in the deafening mix, and director-choreographer Jen Wineman keeps the ladies busy with a variety of hand-waving, leg-shaking, and pelvis-thrusting.”
That extends to the tresses on Jasmine Rice Labeija, our “special appearance”—a sixth woman wounded by Trump whose identity would be a spoiler to reveal. Everyone has a strong voice, rendered stronger by too-close mikes, but Rice Labeija’s really hits the stratosphere. “Don’t you miss me now?” she belts, thrillingly, and yeah, we do.
There are also cheeky references to the ladies’ histories—Melania’s naked photo shoot, Marla’s stint in The Will Rogers Follies—and snippets of Les Miz, Chicago, Fiddler, Cabaret, Evita, Gypsy, Cats, and more; bring a healthy knowledge of musical theater of the past six decades. Five puts musical political satire back on the stage, something that’s been missed, and there’s a nice feeling of audience solidarity when Marla shouts out, “So, are there any Republicans in the house?”—either there aren’t, or they’re afraid to speak up. It all makes for a decent time, especially when Rice Labeija shows up, but it’s likely you’ll spend a lot of it turning to your companion and whispering, “What did she just say?”
Five, the Parody Musical runs through March 10 at Theater 555 (555 West 42nd St.). Evening performances are at 7 p.m. Monday and Thursday, 8 p.m. Friday, and 5 p.m. and 9 p.m. Saturday. Matinees are at 3 p.m. Sunday. Tickets are available by visiting fivethemusical.com.
Book: Shimmy Braun, Moshiel Newman Daphna
Music: Billy Recce
Lyrics: Shimmy Braun, Moshiel Newman Daphna, Billy Recce
Director & Choreographer: Jen Wineman
Set: David Goldstein
Costumes: Florence D’Lee
Lighting: Marie Yokoyama
Sound: Uptown Works
